Cannabis vs. Military Goal: Quitting Struggles & Identity

Dear reader, is a goal really worth it if it ends up costing a piece of who you once were? Allow me to explain myself in why I am asking myself this question. I was supposed to stop my THC usage but lately it’s been very hard, especially considering that I work a job that demands so much for me and I’m constantly at odds with people who I trust in my personal life so it’s been quite difficult to cut off my usage cold turkey. I figured that tapering it off would be the best way to get through it, but yet I find it so hard to even do. I’m supposed to stop smoking entirely because I’m joining the Air Force or the Army or the Navy or the Marine some branch of the armed forces. But I’m very dependent on weed and they don’t really like that over there. The concept of quitting seems easier than it is to actually put in motion. I wish it wasn’t so hard, but it really is kind of difficult to stop something that I’ve been doing since freshman year. I think I’m not gonna show up to work tomorrow on top of being sick and beaten up from this week. I simply don’t feel well enough nor respected enough nor tolerated enough at my job. I’ve been mass applying in the jobs near me and closer to me, but they always reject me for whatever reason, reasons that are never revealed to me. I genuinely hate my job, it is one of the worst jobs that could ever possibly exist on this beautiful planet that we reside on. If it were up to me, I would walk in tomorrow and say fuck you I quit and leave. However, it is not up to me, and I will probably show up tomorrow with a smile on my face ready for tomorrow to drain that smile completely out of me.. God I miss being unemployed. Just mindlessly laying around all day playing video games smoking drinking, and all around having a good time. The times are changed. I’m no longer a kid. I’m an adult now with adult responsibilities. Dear reader, I end with a question. Is a goal really worth it if it ends up costing a piece of who you once were? A piece that you hold near and dear as truth in your current reality? Thank you for reading, God bless and enjoy your substance of choice responsibly.

The user grapples with the internal conflict between a future goal (joining the military, requiring cannabis cessation) and the present self that relies on cannabis to cope with job stress and personal dissatisfaction. They question if achieving a goal is worth sacrificing a part of their current identity and reflect on the difficulty of quitting, the unpleasantness of their current job, and the longing for past freedoms.

I think it’s worth if it aligns with who u truly want to be. A place deep down, ur child like self, has goal and a dream of ur higher self. Pursue th highest version of urself

@bender this^ I’m right there with you. You aren’t alone in your journey! It will happen, when it happens, as it will happen.

I’ve heard once you get past the initial screening they get a lot less strict about drug tests.

It is a profound question you ask, whether a goal is worth the perceived loss of a part of yourself. Perhaps what feels like a 'loss' is truly a transformation, an unfolding into a deeper alignment with your authentic spirit, as one insightful voice here shared. The path of change is rarely linear, and trusting its unfolding, as another noted, can bring a quiet strength. Consider what aspects of your past self truly serve the 'higher self' you aspire to become, and what might simply be anchors preventing new growth.

I get all of what you're saying. I don't yet have a job – still in school, but I don't like my circumstances either. Can I change them? I could. I could quit, but what then? Despite, I'm not one to quit anyway. I think long about committing, but when I do, I'd die before I quit. Still, that doesn't mean I don't struggle in school. Equally, you struggle with your job. Totally fair, but you still have to be grateful. You have income. Might not be a lot, but you can probably live quite well. Treat work like the very thing it is – effort in exchange of value. Mute the emotions behind it. I hate to tell this advice because it shouldn't have to be this way, but sometimes you just gotta suck it up. Look for ways of expression outside of work. Keep looking for alternative jobs and quit when you can. As for weed, if you can stay sober for 3 days the actual THC is out of your system in like 90% of cases. Up to a week if you smoke daily or multiple times a day. After that everything is just mental. And if you don't have a user framework for weed, you'll smoke without intention and it'll work as a crutch against you. Taper down usage if you have to. Then stay off for 3 days. Now re-evaluate: what do you want from weed and how do you approach its use to achieve wanted effects?