Is Positive Thinking Really That Simple?

I hear a lot of shit about “reframe your mindset” or “think better thoughts” but it feels so much like i’m just forcing shits that unbelievable and cheesy when i try. Is it really as simple as just thinking positive thoughts consistently even if i don’t believe them really?

Reframing doesn’t have to automatically be positive. I like to use reframing as maybe gaining a different perspective, I.e. viewing a problem as a lesson that needs to be learned. I’m not throwing glitter on it and saying “Everything happens for a reason!” That’s bullshit. But if I see it like I’m going through a lesson and I might not be unscathed when I come out but it will help me to grow.

It's not so much " think better thoughts" as it is to think differently to look at the thought from a new perspective. Our purpose here is to learn through experience, grow and evolve with growth comes shifts in mindset. I don't think it's something one can force. Your understanding that thinking differently affects your reality puts you way ahead of most - most will never see in errors in their thinking or question why they think certain thoughts. The path you're on isn't an easy one and maybe try this instead. When your having a thought that you feel needs reframing ask yourself if you could look at it from another point of view, and ask yourself why it is you think certain ways about specific thoughts -is there an emotion trigger - identifying why we think a certain way- can help map it out so you can connect the dots.

@ayna this is a amazing response

This whole thread is great. I’ve been right where you are. That thinking is so relatable.

@hyperseeker28 thanks 😊

I agree that it's about perspective. And you can take it further by finding a better lens with which to view reality. I think Alan Watts is a great author to learn about the nondual nature of the world and your self. But I'm sure there's others that put it in a more modern context. For me it has been a great way to make peace with some of the more challenging or less desirable aspects of life. Even if you're not chasing enlightenment.

@jwb52 I don’t think you gotta think positive thoughts especially all the time that’s not sustainable. But something my mom would say growing up is with negative thoughts about yourself, approach it like you would approach a loved one. Also another thing is sometimes you just have to approach a neutral mindset and it feels less cheesy and feels more attainable in situations. One example is that if you think you’re going nowhere or behind in your life, you can be like I am not where I want to be but that doesn’t determine me, and my worth. Not oh I am doing so good and I’m going to go so far in life. Sometimes it helps to write reminders too, and to be present in the moment

@monsterxchild that’s a helpful way of looking at it. I agree with the glitter part fs lmao

@ayna this is very helpful thank you.

@ayna I’m starting therapy shortly it sounds like i’ll see an application of this concept. I’m wondering what exactly it is though to bring up to them because I get confused sometimes. Im thinking to kind of dive into areas where that confusion irritates me and to work with the things I do know about it to connect the dots a little bit better so I can understand stuff I may be looking at in an unhelpful way. Because a lot of the time it seems when I ask myself those questions about the nature of my thoughts i’m met with silence from my friend in the skull.

@jayt It’s true. When it comes to consoling family members I’m able to be very objective and constructive. And yes, I find it hard when people tell me my life is going so well to accept their point of view. It seems like it comes down to choosing an alternative way of objectively describing my situation.

@jwb52 you have the right idea and congrats on the therapy journey it's well with it... Not always easy but far more good days than bad. One of the first things you'll learn to identify is your triggers what emotions trigger the anger, right? For example for me I get angry when someone makes me feel vulnerable even if unintentional when I'm misunderstood it brings up Shane I feel it's my fault. As for what to tell them they will have a series of questions possibly an assessment of sorts just be honest they have a way of explaining us to ourselves and at times know us better than we know ourselves.

@hyperseeker28 thank you .. it was a long one

@jwb52 for sure!! And I know you got a lot of other advice too, and you can use which ever ones feel right in the moment, and it’s okay if your skills you use have to change too.

Cognitive reframing is just that: reframing. You’re not changing the world you’re changing how you look at it. Saying “I’m gonna start thinking positively about things even if I don’t believe them” is self defeating. Instead, help your brain find positivity. Example: instead of apologizing thank someone instead. Like instead of “Sorry I’m late” say “Thank you so much for waiting”, that way you are forcing your brain to focus on the positive aspects of this meeting. You’ll have to force yourself to do it. You’ll do a lot of “Sorry for being late, I mean thank you for your patience”. It will feel cringe as fuck. But you’ll notice that identifying positive traits in your companion will boost their morale, and you’ll feel good about that. Eventually it becomes easy because you practice it. Your brain doesn’t go to anxiety because it likes it, it goes there because it knows the path to get there by heart. Teach it a new path. Hope this helps! The universe is in love so just be in love with her!

@ayna beautifully said💚

something really valuable i’ve learned on my journey is you can’t think yourself into anything. you can take small steps that do help to rewire your brain though. it starts in action, sensation, and ultimately acceptance. radically accept whatever thoughts you do have, but don’t be so quick to believe them. let them flow through you like leaves on a river. bring your focus to the sensations in your body, gently and without judgement. this takes practice. the good news is that each time you follow up your awareness with this simple action, it strengthens your ability to shift out of your mind. our minds overcomplicate everything and can have us turning an otherwise positive or neutral experience into a negative. as for mental work that ive actually found some success in, start by directly ocountering your negative thoughts. what if it DOES work out?? what if something good happens?? even if it feels forced at first, consistency builds momentum. one of my counselors likened this to a deer path in the woods. the paths that are frequently traveled are well worn and beat in, making them the easiest to walk. when we start thinking in different ways it’s like walking straight into the brush. overtime it becomes easier to “walk” and thinking positively feels more natural. that’s been my experience anyways. all last year i said affirmations in the mirror every morning or sometimes multiple times a day and at first it felt fake asf but after repeating something for a while along with noticing the sensation it brings to your body, things start to shift. i also paired this with a lot of prayer, meditation, gratitude lists, and shadow work so i’m not sure what exactly will work with you. regardless, be gentle with yourself on this journey and just do small things everyday to improve on who you were yesterday. show your nervous system a different reality by protecting your peace and only putting yourself in situations that promote that. which can be challenging but even a little bit of effort here goes along way. sending you love on your journey 🧿 check out alan watts on youtube!

@2hyperaware thank you

Start smaller. Start with just one thought. It’s all about recognizing then redirecting. You’re human, you’re going to have negative thoughts!! Recognize the negative, then redirect into a positive. It’s absolutely possible to change your mindset, but it surely takes practice. Be patient with yourself!! One thought at a time:)