Navigating Relationship Differences After Self-Discovery

My partner has grown up in a safe loving home. He had a calm environment to thrive in eeven though he had ADHD. He was able to follow his own path all through his life without too much trauma. He disparate from his first wife because she cheated on him. So there’s that. Now it’s my turn to step into my confident self with sovereignty and authenticity. For most of my life I masked and adopted personalities of the people I am with, including with my partner. For the first 13 years of our relationship we lived his perfect life. I was agreeable to everything we watched his movies, did his hobbies ate his food. Now that I have found myself through my spiritual journey I find that we are very different. I don’t want to sit on the couch all night. I don’t want to eat his comfort food, I want to eat healthy. I would rather ski than snowshoe. I would rather bike than walk. I want to have people over and he cherishes his solitude. I want to light sage and it makes him nauseous. It’s not like we don’t love each other. He is ok with me doing what I want to do but I feel like we don’t have any common ground anymore. And my love language is spending time with people. How does a relationship like this move forward?

The user reflects on their spiritual journey leading to self-discovery and a desire for authenticity, which contrasts with their partner's established, comfortable lifestyle and preferences. Despite mutual love, the user feels a lack of common ground and seeks advice on how to move forward in the relationship given these diverging paths.

i think in a time like this communication is key. this seems like your going thru a sort of rebirth period in your life where your letting ur true self be the self that everyone knows you by and i’m so proud that your able to reach this state as many people never do and find that peace. but ppl (esp significant others) see a part of u that u can’t even see urself many times even if you feel like you never showed it to them before. he didn’t fall in love with that character u were playing even if that’s what u were showing to the world he fell in love with you.

It moves forward by you owning your authenticity, and hopefully your partner will understand. I went through this while unmasking. My husband said it was like living with a teenager all over again. I stopped sitting on the couch and watching our shows. He goes to bed early and I stay up late so he could either stay up and we could go shoot pool or I would go by myself. Through it all I'm so thankful he gave me the space to learn to just .... Be

@sas thank you. Maybe I am just trying to prove to myself what he already sees in me.

@ayna totally with you there. I can no longer hang out in the couch. But I am starting to love that time for me. He is still happy on the couch. And I can work on things or get creative or visit a friend. I think I am grieving my old self through this rebirth. It’s time to let go and do my own thing. And if he can keep up he is welcome to join me. lol

Thank you @sas and @anya for your responses. This helped me to see the fun ahead. Now I am looking forward to more alone time