Cannabis and Spiritual Struggle: Finding Divine Fulfillment

I’ve just been praying and smoking like my life depends on it because it literally does, I’ve been trying to base myself in scripture when I do learn about the lord and the ideas I have. For some reason I have been feeling like a piece of shit but I think it may be because of sin, I don’t know when I sin but it feels like everything we do in or day to day without the knowledge or consciousness of doing such is the part that leads us there it’s not like us as humans think like oh okay I realize I’m actively doing this like it seems subconsciously me writing this because it’s what I’ve naturally gravitated to. That brings me so to the thought of so when we have the one victory and try to repeat it then the pattern of success becomes so natural like you then subconsciously have that victory. Along with that and scripture it’s like you then have to realize you can’t do it on your own scripture says we have to ask on behalf of big brother and it’s like we pray but we constantly need something more it’s like we never have enough and the lord says he will fill our spirits so that’s something I ponder on how to obtain for that to be like the thing that fills us completely and for not to truly want nor need for anything else anymore. That’s all I have ATM so I’ll be going.

While using a significant amount of cannabis, the user is reflecting on their spiritual struggle with sin, feeling like a 'piece of shit,' and seeking a deeper connection with the divine to feel completely fulfilled. They ponder how to attain this complete spiritual filling, drawing parallels between scripture and the natural patterning of success after an initial 'victory.'

honestly the subconscious victory pattern you're describing is real, thats how habit actually works. but i'd gently push back on the sin thing. sounds like youre spiraling a bit in your own head about whether youre doing enough or being enough, and thats a different problem than actually sinning. that voice telling you everything is wrong even when youre actively trying to connect with something bigger, thats usually just anxiety wearing a religious costume. the filling you're looking for probably comes less from doing it all perfectly and more from actually trusting the process instead of constantly auditing yourself for failures.

You don’t obtain the feeling of “being enough” but God INFUSES you with His spirit and you will be filled with nothing but pure love if you follow with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. If you commit to the Lord and seek him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength; you will be transformed by the renewal of your mind. Victory comes from the Lord, the battle is already won! Because you follow Him, we get to walk from freedom, not work for it. Like you had said, sin means “missing the mark.” We will never be free of sin or be worthy, but since Christ defeated sin, we walk from freedom and choose Him because YOU KNOW His love! Because He is worthy, and you place your trust in Him, He will give you His perspective and you can walk with and for Him. The deeper you grow in your relationship with Christ, the more he will show you your own unworthiness, not because He wants you to feel bad, but because He wants you to depend on only him and not look to the world. This is why it says, walk by faith, not by sight. Complete surrender is the answer. And once you know that love and commit to the spirit, you have to choose it every day. Taking up your cross means choosing Him over our human nature and things that YOU know take you away from the Lord. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. You are exactly where you need to be!