Authenticity & Letting Go: A New Perspective

This is a voice note, so it's not going to be nearly as developed as normal. Look, I think a lot has changed in my life in the past couple months, and I realize that I haven't really gone on here in a while, and it's kind of ironic because I feel like so much has happened, and I honestly just like, I wish I had journaled it, but then I think there is an interesting paradox here that I've come to find out where I do, part of me wishes that I had journaled the different days of Welcome Week and stuff, of the first days of college and stuff, but also part of me is just kind of glad that it's just all sort of like a blur that I just experienced, and I have a few pictures here and there, but I mean it really is like, how much does it really matter what happened on which day, you know, like it was all sort of the same vibe, and like I know what I experienced to an extent, you know, and like at the end of the day, it's already happened, so there's not too much of a point in obsessing too much over it, in my opinion, and I think sometimes what makes an experience so fun is maybe the fact that it's almost a bit surreal in your memory. Yes, I think once I just finally started to just let go, and I don't mean started to let go as in like an overall life change, like this is still something I'm actively working on. But it's like in any sort of circumstance, right? Where like this, this did happen at different times, even from the first day I got here. So I feel like I've just been able to allow it to happen more and more often as time has passed. But basically what I'm saying by time letting go is, or letting or just letting go is what I mean is like, it's, it's almost hard to explain because I don't know how you teach someone or like, I don't know how you describe to someone not doing something, but you're basically just not trying to like, actively perform in any way. And not even in like the classic sense of like, you know, entertaining the group or anything, but just putting, putting on any sort of character, even if it's not saying anything, or even if it's, you know, talking a regular amount and like measuring when it, you know, when you should talk and when you shouldn't, it's just being there, you know? And I think there is a certain need for, you know, some sort of like etiquette, you know, and social etiquette and sort of like paying attention to that. But I feel like that's so ingrained in our minds already that you don't really have to worry too much. You will, even on autopilot, you'll still kind of keep yourself under control for the most part. It's more so just like letting go of the micromanaging. And I don't know if this is like a normal thing for a lot of people, but I'm honestly starting to realize how much of a novelty it is to me and how much it really is so relaxing in like, not just a mental way, but I swear it's like a physiological relaxation that occurs where I'm able to just be in a social setting and not be in my own head. And something very weird happens when you do this, where you're actually able to sort of see through this haze of metacognition, if you will, where you're kind of able to see from a bird's eye view almost in a sense that you're from the outside looking in, seeing everyone else so focused on themselves. And it really is a bizarre occurrence where you kind of just take a step back and you see, oh, well, he just, he's beating himself up over tripping over his words just now. And she's, you know, she's thinking about what she's going to have for dinner tonight. And you know, he's, he's trying to figure out how to, you know, fit more in with this group. And she's trying to, you know, and like you start, you start to see how everyone else is so focused on acting a certain way. And it kind of feels like you're on another level. And I don't mean that in an ego way. It's just like, you're not doing that, you know, so it sort of separates you. And I think people pick up on that. And I don't mean that, again, and I don't mean that in a braggy way, because I'm still learning how to do it. But I do think that energy attracts people. And I think that's what I'm getting better at. I think people just long for authenticity I think we just yearn for real so badly whatever real means I mean if you think about you know sci-fi theories how many of them have to do with things being real that aren't real or things that are real not being real or you know like the simulation theory is all about our world being not real but what does real mean you know it seems like that's really what we're so desperate to try to figure out you know whatever that context may be you know whether real is you know making the first fire or you know making the wheel or you know creating electricity what is real what is the what is the greatness that we can hold with our hands and understand and not be afraid of you know what is what is the greatness that is so great and so incomprehensible and yet we are able to control it we just want to be in control

Reflects on the paradox of college memories becoming a blur, while highlighting the transformative power of 'letting go' of social performance. By stopping the active micromanagement of one's persona, the user experiences a physiological relaxation and a heightened perspective, enabling them to witness others' self-consciousness from a more authentic state of presence. The piece concludes with a philosophical inquiry into our collective human yearning to define 'what is real' amidst a world of simulation and control.

@purehalo206 I've come to realize that being present in the moment and experiencing it raw - without analysis or reflection - You can still capture it though just pretend you're telling me all about it and relive it now while capturing the memory as it unfolds.